faith like a child

did you know that when you get chill bumps, it means you are "coming into the truth"? i was covered head to toe...

it was the day after levee died. we had an appointment scheduled with our counselor anyway. seeing her has been one of the most powerful tools in our short little marriage. she's become like family so we hugged and cried for most of the session. she asked about willow. i told her that i think she knows, she feels it. she reminded us that willow wasn't blinded by the world yet, she can see things and feel things that we no longer can because of our lack of faith. my heart skipped a beat and chills covered my body, just like they did on an early morning 4 days before.

willow had woken up extra early and i wanted w to sleep in a bit. so she and i snuggled on the couch and read books. she turned around and looked behind me and her eyes got wide...but not just wide...full. i described it as being in awe of something. i turned around expecting to see her daddy but there was nothing there. my heart was beating fast but i shook it off. but i couldn't, and i didn't.

i recalled it in our session and our counselor got chill bumps too. remember, when i went into the doctors office to find out levee was in heaven, he said it had most likely been a few days....

willow saw her baby brother go to heaven. was it a great, big, loving angel that took him into his arms? maybe it was a momma angel. or maybe sweet Jesus himself. whatever it was, must have been amazing to capture her attention like that and to fill her eyes with such amazement.

a few weeks later, willow and i were on the same spot on the couch. on a whim, i asked her "willow, where's baby?". guess where she pointed. :)


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