dear willow,

dear willow,

Friday, April 25, 2014

sutton smith. {a beautiful birth story}

he's here.
i have said that to myself and out loud
more times than i would be able to count.
i am just beyond thrilled to be able to share
this little boys birth story.

because of different medical "issues",
we knew he'd be a scheduled c-section.
so our official date and time was 4/14/14.
(did i ever mention that since i was little, i wanted an april baby?
no idea why though.)
check in was at 10:00 am with
the surgery to begin at about 12:00.

we had the dream team set up, y'all.
my doctor who we have grown to LOVE.

the doctor who delivered levee and is
so so tender and kind.
our good friend was the anesthesiologist and
always makes it fun and not so scary

and we had our AWESOME nurse that was with me
when i delivered willow.

i was so so excited and thankful that it all worked out.

we got there, stopped at the well baby nursery
for willow to peek in and see the other new babies

and then after signing in,
got all hooked up and ready to wait.

the atmosphere was pretty perfect.
my family. dear friends.

hillsong playing quietly on pandora,
my bible open to suttons verse and
rain steadily falling outside.
(i had prayed for a rainy day. so dreamy.
but then all the talk about the flooding made me feel
a bit guilty. yikes!)

the sweet chaplain came in and prayed with us.
the doctors each trickled in and out
getting us all excited.
and was time.
the tears started when we had to leave willow
(she was a little weepy and it was so hard to walk away)
and then the ugly cry started when my precious lauren
was down the hall outside of the OR doors.

(love seeing my daddy in the background watching us walk away)

i had to leave w in a little room outside of the OR
to get his scrubs on and so i could get my spinal.
looking into his eyes in that moment,
the reality hit me even more.
he was coming!!

i remember it feeling a little strange when i was
getting my spinal.
with willow and levee the room already seemed to be bustling
but this time it was just me, my nurse and the anesthesiologist.
after the spinal, i had a good bit of anxiety
and didn't think i could breathe but he assured me
that i was breathing, it was just that i couldn't "feel" it.
i got light headed several times too and he'd
check my blood pressure and give me some
medicine and within a minute i'd be able to
see more clearly and feel more "there".
so glad to have a friend as the doctor
so i wasn't embarrassed to ask lots of questions.

then it was really time!
the blue curtain went up,
w came in and they got to work.

dr. wooley said they were almost there
and i glanced at the clock. 12:30.
at 12:31 he said,
"he's definitely a boy" and seconds later
the little cry we had prayed for.
he brought him around the curtain to
suction his mouth, etc but i couldn't see him
through the tears.

i actually thought i wouldn't cry when he was born.
(i don't in some situations that i "should")
can you imagine?
he cried and cried while they cleaned him up with
his daddy right by his side.
i kept hearing comments about his hair.
lots of hair. :)

finally (seemed like forever) w was able to bring him over to me.
i was crying so. hard.

i couldn't even get words out.
i managed to say
"he's warm. a warm baby."
exactly what we had so desperately prayed for.
but still couldn't see him clearly. :)
w took him out to meet his big sister
and i couldn't stop smiling at that point.

the doctors said everything was going
perfectly with me.
i kept asking since he was worried about me
having a lot of blood loss due to all of my prior surgeries.
so thankful.
i got all stitched up and was moved right back into the
room we started in (instead of a little recovery room).
i heard my precious little girl and was SO
excited that i got to see her so soon.
she had a lot to tell me about that baby brother of hers. :)

i seriously felt NO pain and didn't for several hours
and i wasn't at all "loopy" or sleepy.
my family trickled back in with lots of pictures and videos.
then a nurse practitioner came in and told me
my precious little boy wasn't doing too good.

his lungs weren't strong enough and he was having trouble breathing.
she said they had oxygen in his little bed just blowing on his face
and they were hoping that would do the trick.
then she came back in and said he had gotten worse. :(
they were going to have to bring him into the nicu for a
cpap machine and start an IV.
ahhh heartbreak.
the NP was very abrupt and that made it a lot scarier for me.
but my sweet nurse "translated" for me each time she left.
a little bit later the nicu doctor came in.
at first i was panicked because i couldn't read his face.
but he was amazing.
he was SO sweet to willow.
he clearly explained what they were going to do to help my
little guy get stronger.
and then he asked if he could pray with us.

so even though i hadn't held my little boy,
i knew he was in really good hands.

shortly after,
i was moved to my real room for some rest.

it was a day full of emotion.
and fulfilled promises.
and so much love.

we just can't thank our friends and family enough
for the countless prayers that were said
on our behalf.

{i'll be doing a separate post on the following days
and my love for the nicu. you know, when i'm not too busy staring at this little boy and his big sister. :)}


  1. God is so good!! We are so excited for your family......

  2. My heart beats fast reading this post. God is Faithful and Good Good Good. I can't wait to see Baby Sutton.


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